Changing my thoughts in motherhood completely transformed how I experience parenting, marriage, and daily life as a Mama.
I paid thousands of dollars for a coach to teach me this — and it shifted my perspective in ways I never expected.
Through one simple self-coaching concept, I learned how to show up with more intention, peace, and confidence in both motherhood and marriage.
A few years ago, I invested in a business coach whose program deeply shaped my mindset. Inside that space, she taught a powerful yet practical way of self-coaching — one that changed not just my thinking, but my experience of motherhood itself.
Today, I want to share that gold nugget with you — for free. 🤍
The Truth I Paid Thousands to Learn
I believe our thoughts are one of the most powerful tools we have for truly thriving in life.
Every area of our lives — our marriage, motherhood, health, and emotional well-being — can be traced back to our thoughts.
The average human has around 6,000 thoughts per day, and studies estimate that 90% of them are repetitive. Our brains crave familiarity. We run on routines, rhythms, and subconscious patterns.
If I could give you one tip to help you thrive in motherhood, it would be this:
Take charge of your thoughts. Be conscious of the story you are telling yourself.
Why Your Thoughts Matter More Than You Realize in Motherhood
Whatever result you desire in your marriage or motherhood, it starts with your thoughts.
When you become aware of your thinking, you begin to understand why you’re getting the results you are — and more importantly, how to change them.
A Simple Self-Coaching Tool Every New Mom Can Use
Here’s the framework that changed everything for me:
When you shift the thought, you shift the entire chain.
Common Thoughts Many Moms Struggle With (You’re Not Alone)
Motherhood is one of the most beautiful and challenging seasons of life. Whether you’re pregnant with your first, knee-deep in toddlerhood, or learning how to juggle multiple children — new thoughts constantly arise.
Here are a few thoughts I believe every mom has had at some point:
- “Birth is going to be so painful. I don’t know how I’ll do it.”
- “We never get intimate time anymore. I miss my husband.”
- “Working out is so hard with a baby. I don’t feel like myself.”
- “Cooking dinner is overwhelming.”
If any of these sound familiar — keep reading. I want to show you exactly how I coached myself through them as a first-time mama.
—The SELF-COACHING model that is my secret sauce to thriving in Motherhood
Applying the Model in Real Life
A Thought Shift That Changed My Birth Experience
The rite of passage into motherhood is giving birth. Giving birth in my opinion is one of the most sacred things a woman will ever experience. It’s like the lining of heaven is open. Leaning on God for his strength, and working hard to let go and let his beautiful creation come to earth’s side.
Although it’s one of the most surreal things I’ve ever experienced, it was also the most out-of-body experience. I have a beautiful birth story to share with you, which I’ll share with you another day. But I don’t think it happened by accident. I believe that my thoughts about birth are what made my experience so magical & positive.
A Common Fear Around Birth
As a pregnant mama you can’t escape the world’s perception of birth that is portrayed everywhere. Birth is so painful. So naturally the thought of every mama anticipating birth is “It’s going to be so painful.”
Circumstance: Giving birth for the first time
Thought: “Birth is going to be so painful.”
Feeling: Nervous
Action: Late-night Googling at 2 a.m.
Result: Anxiety and fear
The Thought Shift That Helped Me Trust My Body
New Thought: “Birth can be beautiful and sacred. So many women do this — I can too.”
Feeling: Optimistic
Action: I invested in birth education, listened to positive birth stories, and protected my mindset
Result: I experienced the beautiful birth I had always hoped for.
One day, I’ll write a whole post on how I coached myself during pregnancy and through labor to end up feeling so positive about birth. I truly believe my experience around birth was so raw and beautiful because I had control of my thoughts!
Navigating Intimacy After Baby With Intention
Why Intimacy Changes After Baby
(Warning: real talk)
I know some moms in postpartum are more than willing to go beyond their six-week check-up before sexy time. I personally couldn’t wait to jump my husband. Those endorphins were wild, and honestly, I was ready like two weeks post-birth. I don’t recommend it. LOL!
But I did ask my midwife if she could clear me before six weeks because your girl couldn’t wait. She did clear me early. Don’t regret that. 🙂
That feeling of excitement and longing was so real. There is nothing like seeing the man you love step up to be the best dad. The type you dreamed about when you married him. But that doesn’t stop the real world from creeping in.
The Thoughts Never Stop!
Overnight, your sexy time went from uninterrupted to a little precious baby in the bassinet next to your bed, sound asleep. But they could wake up at any given moment. I think it’s normal for your heart to be torn. To desire your husband but be so dang tired or newly distracted that even the thought of intimacy can be difficult.
Circumstance: Newborn baby + exhausted parents
Thought: “We never have time for ourselves.”
Feeling: Longing
Action: Avoidance
Result: Feeling disconnected
A Thought Shift That Strengthened Our Marriage
New Thought: “We need to make time for ourselves. Our marriage matters.”
Feeling: Excitement
Action: Planning intimacy(yes, planning!)
Result: Brought connection, excitement, and intentional closeness back into our marriage.
Finding Time To Care for Yourself After Baby
I gained 50 lbs with my son. Holy moly! I had a healthy pregnancy, no complications, and a beautiful birth experience. I’ve never been self-conscious about the way I looked, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t dying to lose this baby weight and feel like myself again.
Freshly postpartum the thought of working out with a baby felt impossible. There were some days I felt like I couldn’t even feed myself before my little baby was hungry again! It felt like a whole job staying hydrated and fed well enough to keep up with the demands of exclusively breastfeeding.
I learned a lot of tips and rhythms along the way that made it easier, but it didn’t come without trial and error and a lot of self-coaching to pivot my approach.
Circumstance: Working out with a baby
Thought: “Working out is so hard with a baby.”
Feeling: Overwhelmed
Action: Inaction
Result: Feeling disconnected from myself
A Thought Shift That Helped Me Feel My Best
New Thought: “I deserve 30 minutes to care for myself — even if my baby is right next to me.”
Feeling: productive & accomplished
Action: moving my body gently, with my baby doing tummy time right next to me
Result: Clarity, confidence, and slowly feeling like myself again.
Creating Peaceful Evening With a New Baby
I remember in the early days of motherhood when our moms finally left our home. A few weeks later we finally ran out of prepared freezer meals and I was like, “How are we going to feed ourselves?”
I was finally getting into the routine of taking care of myself again, learning how to do things without my help there. How would I conquer dinner time?
Looking back, that makes me giggle, but in the moment, it felt so overwhelming.
One day, when I finish my entire First Time Mama Blog Series, I’ll write a series on meals for mamas. I have a few tricks up my sleeve now! Things I swear by, but let’s go back to a freshly postpartum mama, trying to conquer dinner with a newborn. By myself!
My Early PP Reality
Circumstance: Cooking dinner solo with a newborn
Thought: “This is too hard.”
Feeling: Overwhelmed
Action: Chaos, trying to balance baby needs and cooking dinner
Result: Frazzled evenings- My husband came home to an overstimulated mama who needed him to take over cooking, or me throwing in the towel, and when Dada gets home, let’s get Chick-fil-a for takeout.
The Thought Shift
New Thought: “I can plan ahead and support myself.”
Feeling: Resourceful
Action: Utilizing nap time to prep dinner
Result: Peaceful evenings, prepared meals, and confidence in my new rhythm. I was a peaceful mama come 5 o’clock!
How Changing Your Thoughts Can Transform Motherhood
There are many circumstances in motherhood we cannot change — but we can change how we think about them.
“New thoughts are like seeds planted in soil. They require daily care to take root.” — Kristin Boss
Final Encouragement for New & Expectant Moms
The thoughts you think today are planting the garden of your motherhood. If you want a garden full of peace, joy, connection, and growth — it all starts with the tiny seeds of intentional thought.
-Chelsea Salinas
I hope this encourages you. I’d truly love to hear from you — what thoughts are you having about marriage or motherhood?
My DMs are always open 🤍
You can find me on Instagram at @thechelseasalinas
Save this post, share with a mama friend, or journal through your own thoughts using the model. (You can click any of the graphics throughout the post and save for future inspiration!)
Love this post? Here’s one I think you’d love!
It’s about one simple habit that transformed my marriage, heart, and experience of Motherhood.
